literature

Day 46 : Lament

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I can treat others from time to time, but definitely not every time. I wish, that before asking me what the problem really is, they'd realise that it's not easy to have this amount of money. Dad comes back with scars and bruises here and there after repairing engines and stuff. What he gets is a somewhat dishonest, miserly wage for an honest day's work. I can't possibly be thinking of some people all the time, especially when there are Antinaissance appearing out of nowhere half the time and I've got to fend myself.

So you'd probably ask, why think about Sybil, Mira, Tatienne and the people whom I hang out with? Simply because they're my friends, and they know how it's like to live in such a tough situation. But this select few people who keep asking me if I can give them a treat make me obliged all the time. They're sucking my blood.

And now I have another reason to lament. This afternoon was our Nationalism Module pantomime competition. A much-awaited event it was, indeed. The stage was gaily decorated with the banners of all the provinces in Sauveterre and the flags of all the four companies. We awaited the event with baited breath. Dolores couldn't join us because she was admitted to the clinic with a severe case of migraine. Back in the hall, the Nationalism Module classes were rounding up the participants. We were preparing for this competition like we were preparing for a war!

Maurice, I feel that this is partly my fault and I'm truly sorry if I'm among the people who made you stressed yesterday. I hoped, back there, that you'd be ready. I was so sure we'd make it. In fact, I prayed hard for your voice and mine to blend, since we'd be the only "voice cast" for our class.

And then, the long-awaited moment finally arrived. It was time for Bravo 1 & 2 to perform.
The actors filled the stage. They brought their characters to life. Maurice and I did our best for the voice cast. I could hear everything from my post. Senior Rahman took care of the audio and good grief, it didn't fall in place. I was worried sick. But back there, I didn't have any regrets, at least, where the performance of the trainees was concerned. We all did our best.

When the results were announced, there was severe tension in the hall. There were two companies crying out their own names out loud: Alpha (for Alpha 1 & 2), Senior Akatsuki's and Leah's class, and Bravo (for Bravo 1 & 2, my class). Ultimately, Alpha 1 & 2 won. Bravo 1 & 2 settled for second place. I was disgusted. I confronted Senior Rahman later that evening and I questioned him rather frankly:

"Who took care of the audio?"
"I did, why?"
"Pffffffff, it was terrible! I signalled you to come in but you didn't take note of the signals! The background music didn't even fall in place! We did our very best, we sacrificed all our free time just to be able to move the others, and this is what happens! Because of what you've done, we're not champs anymore!"
"But I…"
"Enough! You've really disappointed me, and it'll take more than just a few instances to prove yourself."

I bet Senior Akatsuki was rejoicing. She thrashed me. Again.

Later that afternoon, he managed to calm me down. He and Senior Ref called the participants from our class to Class Sauveterre, and we split the prize. There's supposed to be a patriotic song competition coming up, and that's my only hope.

Well, tomorrow, since the NS Department chairman is paying a visit to Camp Point-Neuf, and Point-Neuf is his hometown, there'll be a few lucky people who get to appear on television screens. Leah, Suzie and Alizée and their classmates will be doing their encore tomorrow morning. I wanted to be the star. But again, as always, I have to be among the unluckiest people in the world. If we were placed second because of a huge margin, I'd probably have accepted it. But this time, I'm definitely disgruntled. I really want to invoke rain and thunder from the sky.
A lament I wrote on Day 46, with several flashes added from several other days. I was terribly disgruntled with the trainer whom we had placed in charge of the audio, because a day prior to the competition, I had breached the lights-off-at-11 rule to cut and mix the background music, a lot of which were tracks from the Kingdom Hearts Original Soundtrack Complete. Of course, I had the authorisation to do so, but for all my hard work, I truly felt that justice was not done unto me.

Entries from earlier days will spill how the Nationalism Module pantomime competition is carried out, but if you'd like, I can spill it out for you. :P
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